Quinsessential is what marriage is. Everyone loves their freedom but in the mid of twenties everyone is ready to share their freedom. Finding soul mate is the most difficult phase. You come across so many people who come up with their books of Do’s and Don’ts and if you miss on any point you are out of the league. So basically it sounds like a contest. Some guys say “If you snore I will have to think about our relationship, some say I want to get marry but I am not ready to shoulder your responsibility. You earn and be independent.” Some write bookish Bio explaining about them. I wonder if that is written by them or they ask Google .After going through this matchmaking thick and thins you zero down a guy.
After the marriage where for four days you feel like a VIP. Everyone is around you to click the pictures. After the destination wedding or marriage festivities when life comes to the normal track you actually taste the flavors of marriage
MIL:- Pls make tea for me?
The bride arrives with the tea and MIL says “Beta, there is so much water in this tea?” The bride replies I usually make tea as a combination of milk and water. MIL replies “No no, we drink tea of 100% milk”
Marriage is about acceptance and compromise more than love. Marriage is a blend of rituals and traditions .Before marriage a girl and a boy talks about them but after marriage it’s about a family. If the groom’ family had been following a tradition since decades , even the bride find it wrong still she had to do it as it’s a tradition.
You tell your partner about it he will reply “See these things don’t matter me, its for my parents happiness, so do it”
Before marriage a girl and boy spend most of their time shopping but after marriage they spend their time at grocery stores. You will find most of the couples in the store who want to buy a lot of stuff but not sure what to buy.
Husband: Finally we are at the store, are you ready with the list?
Wife: Cool, Yes I have carried the list. Lets buy these containers, they are cute!
Husband: Don’t you think it’s very small?
Wife: But it will enhance my kitchen look :p
Husband: Cool, you girls always find everything cute! I don’t know what’s cute in that?
Wife: Mumma said we need to buy mota poha for kanda poha, out of all these which is the right one. Also yellow dal but here there are too many options which one to buy.
Husband: You did not ask the name of dal?
Wife: No I always tell it that way!(giggles)
The wife wants to cook for her hubby and tries all the hacks. Turning on youtube she feels she can cook everything.
Wife: Hubby I have made Veg kadhai for you?
Husband: Wow sounds so good,
Wife: Here it is?
Husband: With his first bite in his mouth, he starts to relish it.
Wife:How is it?
Husband: It is good but vegetable are less cooked.
Wife : In their youtube channel they mentioned to cook it for 10mins on slow flame. I still cooked for 12 minutes.
Wife: These days vegetables are so adulterated they don’t cook fast:p
Marriage is about an emotional quotient. You experience a lot of emotions -joy, pain, anger, surprise and happiness. If you are not a great cook and if you have some guests, heart starts thundering because that’s not your cup of tea.
Marriage is altogether a new challenge of life. To think about other people other than you is an all new emotion. If you have lived in a nuclear family and stayed in a hostel, you develop a sense of independence and freedom. Imagine if you get marry in a joint family, however lovable family is, you get nervous about sharing your freedom. In terms of wearing shorts, having pasta, or anything, you always has to think about others. Even if you don’t feel like doing it, you still have to help . Some families prefer keeping cook while some say “We love the food made by our mom. My mom will cook you help her out.” You recall the days of lying in your bed lazy and your mom calls “Beta dinner is ready”.
I came across some possessive families where on weekends to keep their daughter in law busy they will take out all the home chores like washing bedsheets,curtains or some cleaning work. The privacy is a myth . The mother in law asks the couple to plan a baby but she doesnot realize “If she is giving them that atmosphere” This is quirky. In the cities like Mumbai where 6 people stay in 2BHK where the house is filled with people and if some unwanted guests arrive then the rooms are divided as male’s room kids room and female’s room. All the day you are at work and finally you arrive home you hardly get minutes to talk. Quality time is far away. You are always equipped with the work. You become tired depressed and frustrated. Your marriage life is monotonous and boring. Even for vacation you need to inform others and then plan. Sometimes a family functions come suddenly or sometime you have guests so you have to cancel your plan. Ultimately you start losing interest and fun. What you do are complaints! Marriage brings a huge responsibility with it.
While at some places the families are cordial. They sit and discuss challenges and happiness is the priority of everyone. The couple goes to the work and their parents looks after their kids happily. They are ready to keep maids and monitor them. The grandfather happily drops the kids to the school and picks them. Everyone have their designated task which they do happily.. The life becomes pretty easier and people develop respect among each other. The old age plans their trips with their friends and same with the couple.. Only thing is they make sure their dates don’t overlap. This home has positivity and good vibes. Marriage here shoulders a responsibility but is happy supporting it.
The couples who stay alone are more relaxed and sorted. They plan their requirements very clear and have no restrictions. They live their life on their terms and conditions. Both husband and wife help each other.
Husband: How much more time will it take?
Wife: I just left the office, an hour to reach.
Husband: Sunita is on leave today.
Wife: Oh yes, sorry I forgot about it. Wait I will order something.
Husband : I will order.
Wife: Oh my God biryani , you cooked it. Thats so sweet.
Husband: Yes I am very hungry, tell me how it is?
Wife: She feels happy with the gesture.
To add a twist when mother in-laws visits ?
Daughter in law: Mummyji what should I make for dinner?
Mother in law: What are the options?
Now as daughter in law starts giving option?
Daughter in law: Kofta roti or dal , Papad sabji, Gatta or any veg you say
Mother in Law: I don’t eat dal at night, it creates acidity. I have BP so no papad sabji and I have diabetes also so no rice.Kofta and gatta will be too heavy for night.I prefer eating light.
Daughter in Law: Ok, Cauliflower veg or brinjal?
Mother in law: It will be dry na , I want some curry.Brinjal we eat in afternoon.
Daughter in Law: Aloo Tomato curry or paneer curry.
Mother in Law: Oh but it will have tomato curry na ,tomato is sour it pricks my throat.
Daughter in Law: Sighs then you tell what should I make…….
Mother in law: Order from outside.
Daughter in law: If we order from outside but still It will contain all the above.
Mother in law: Outside food is ok.
Daughter in law:( laughs)
Such are the instances which you encounter after marriage. You get such funny and hilarious responses.
After marriage the discussion between the couples goes like My family vs Your family. The things revolve around proving we have better rituals than you. They joke or laugh or taunt about each other family and these arguments are never ending. But whenever it is required they stand strong with each other.
Wife: I am the smallest daughter in law in your family but I hardly get any gifts.I always have to give.
Husband: Yes this is the ritual of our family. The youngest in the family has always to give.
Wife: In my family younger people are always showered with love and gifts.
Husband: But now you are in my family. So you have to give without expectations.
Wife: That’s bad.
And that’s how the arguments keep on going.
Marriages are made in heaven. . I feel so true that’s the reason two people are able to gel with each other, make sacrifices and compromise for each other Marriage is a very big decision but it can be kept intact with small things. like showering care. Everyone loves to be pampered and care. Marriage lies on the strong foundation of love ,trust, loyalty and understanding.
“A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person”- – Mignon McLaughlin
To be precise – Falling in love with the personality, traits, behavior, decisions, food habits and the choices :