Marriage proposals

Marriage is an institution of trust and love. It is considered as the most sacred and valuable relation. This phase of life is utmost important in every lives. As soon as an individual reached a mile stone of 25 people are ready to mingle. This was not the scenario back in decades when child marriage was also considered auspicious. Back in 1929 child marriage was banned and the ideal age for boys was declared as 14 and for girls 18. This was again updated in 2006 where the legal age for boys is 21 and girls is 18years.Thee marriage proposals since decades have evolved. When we ask our grandparents about their stories they would narrate that ” We never had a choice to select our bride/groom , it was only on the day of marriage we were introduced” Absurd? Isn’t it. But yes it happened..

When we ask our parents their story they would narrate that “ Our families used to finalize our institution and then we were able to speak to each other through letters” Back in time there were no mobiles. But yes we were not given the option of selection or choose. We trusted our families will choose the best for us”

Decades ago when a girl has become independent and qualified , she has been given the right to choose the groom. “A girl is given every right to select his groom. A girl can ballpark what all features and qualities she wants in his partner. The parents of a girl also allow their daughter to talk and meet the groom and his family. If she says yes the proceeding of marriage began. The shenanigans start ringing.”

The current trend where a girl and boy are very clear with their expectations. They are very clear with their Bio and write 15-20 lines in their bio mentioning that they are very open minded, love to travel. They have their own set of rules for clubbing, party, food, cuisines, sleeping habits, careers and much more. They are also clear about what all things can lead to less attraction if their partner does not follow those rules. The ideal mantra now a girl and boy say ” We will first talk and chat a few times and then we will meet for a few time and then decide our alliance” The parents give Go ahead to this.

If we talk about the scenarios before decade people talk about commitment, compromise, families , responsibilities, hobbies and happiness. If not they spoke about it, they had an basic understanding about it. Now if we talk about the latest proposal where a girl and boy have total freedom to chose their partner. To be precise they will date and then get married. This makes sense. If you are able to stop at one preferable option and then try to know each other. But what if , after talking for a while the candidate is not ready for marriage and he/she wants to explore more options. In that case you would never be able to narrow your choice and select one. You will get graduated in talking and every time a girl meets a boy or vice versa they start judging each other. The boy sounded too optimistic, meek, under-confident, elite, spoiled brat, lame etc. The process becomes too complex.

Last but not the least marriages are made in heaven. We need to trust our intuitions and should wait for the signal which the Almighty gives us. Marriage lays on the foundation of trust, love and compromise. Marriage can not be defined only with rules. It is an institution where a bride and groom have to walk together to suppress sorrows, fulfil responsibilities, foster love and safeguard their families. The scenarios which discussed are arranged but even for love marriage the basic understanding of marriage never changes. We should always choose a partner who is ready to shoulder our responsibility, ready to look about your family, flexible about the choices and believes in happiness.

The latest proposal which I came across on the internet which is trending is about a couple. V Chinnadurai and S Swetha tied the knot 60 feet underwater off the coast of Neelankarai at the crack of dawn on February 1. “It was a traditional marriage ceremony, only it was underwater. We dived in at an auspicious time in the morning and exchanged garlands and tied the thaali before 7.30 am as per instructions from our priest,” groom Chinnadurai, a software engineer and a licenced scuba diver, told TOI.

What matters in marriage is wherever we go, we walk together. This basic understanding should hit a girl and a boy then only they would be able to make their choices.

Our sacred epics Mahabharata and Ramayana has depicted this beautiful relation of marriage and has set the example for the world. They have depicted the role of husband and wives. How they are soul to each other and how are they bonded to each other despite of society pressure. How families and society change their lives but they have to be loyal and sacred. What is important is respect. One should always respect their relationship. How traditions and ethics make the bond more stronger. People say Lord Vishnu has reincarnated in various avatar to let humans understand the value of karma, Dharma and Nirvana. This epic marriage proposal which the have taken for the establishment of Dharma is revered.

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