In a male dominated society where these days everyone is getting educated with flying colors and pretend to be a modern family. A modern family with broad outlook and new ideologies. This is what is the foundation of a modern family. I too feel a person should be modern by their thoughts and not by their act of participating in activities which give them the tag of being “modern” . I came across a similar incident and when I recall my blood starts to boil. I happened to visit a cafe to visit my old friend. But there was a couple next to me who were having a argument over trivial yet a massive issue.
A girl was filling the feedback form and she wrote her surname as Rao which was her name before marriage. When her husband saw it, he started to blabber over her “You are Deshpande now and not Rao” You have got married and you have to follow all our things now” The girl was silent as she thought its a public place. But I felt like giving him an answer but later realized it’s of no use.
“A girl gets married because she want to take her life ahead and not to get herself branded with groom’s surname. How can she leave her identity which she is carrying from the time of birth. If you cannot respect her name how can you expect her to respect yours. Just because you are a boy and blessed to take birth in this male dominated society does not give you right to dominate. It should be a girl’s choice to choose a name which impresses her. How much have you cared and respected her leads her to put your surname as her last name.”
I told myself to be patient, there are so many people like him revolving around us which needs to understand. I usually come across many people who say now you have got married this is your home? Why you need to every time visit your family? One week should be enough, come back soon. Now that is not your home.
To all those people who think that way take a minute and imagine if you have your own daughter , will you just throw her away once she is married. You will not care or help her. You will just become a token that we are “ladkiwale”. Who gives you right to decide if a girl will go or not ? How much she will keep with their family? The relation of a girl with her parents is made by God and you are no one to put Do’s and Don’ts”
Seriously sometimes I hear these arguments from a educated person. To my astonishment I feel how uneducated they are. A girl is not well and during a crucial time she needs her family. And the answer comes” Now you are married you should become accustomed to”
Is it a sin to be a girl, I am a girl and if I need my family I cannot call them because you feel your family would do it so there is no need. They can come later and visit you. You and your family wantsa importance and other are simply tagged as ladkiwale and you are told as you are a married girl. If your family comes and stay with you for a long time , it doesnot look good they are ladkiwale and grooms family can stay forever and the reason you ask them it is our culture and we should abide by culture. So if you had to follow these norms and principles then why dont you follow when it comes to you.
Alas, sincerely we live in a world where there are n number of people who want to enjoy the stature of being a boy and groom family want to lead a life of respect because they are the parents of a boy. To all those who live and preach these ideologies.