Nuclear Family vs Joint Family

The normal debate which everyone encounters every day is nuclear family vs joint family. In the old generation when everyone used to live together. That used to be called a family. All the brothers and sisters together cherish their memories of fighting, playing, borrowing and eating together. Earlier used to be a big family who used to believe “A family that eats together stays happy together” With this mantra the old generation used to flourish by sharing their income or running their household business. They never had any choice but lived happily with no complaints. The females used to spend the entire day with the vessels cleaning them or making eateries for everyone. Be it cleaning cereals, making pickles, chips or any other item. They should do united. While the males of the family used to spend their time earning for their families. There used to be immense respect among each other and they can never think of any idea of living alone

But if you ask anyone today What you think about extended or joint family? They will think twice and say I am not pretty sure. After the modernization when everyone has left their home to relocate to cities to earn better and pursue good jobs and higher education. There has been a sudden surge in the joint families. When people usually step out of their homes they taste freedom and a lot of space. Their ideologies changes with time. They get a different exposure which is different to the people who lived in the villages together. Where the families lived together need to consult each other for every decision, the person staying together starts formulating his own life. This in any way does not mean that he no more respects the concept of staying together. If he asks them to come and stay in the city the people who are living happily together won’t be able to adjust to that surrounding. And the person who has lived in the city for a while won’t be able to again adjust to that environment where life is very simple. There are no job opportunities and the options decrease. It’s because of this culture the concept of nuclear family has flourished.

A girl who has always stayed in a nuclear family and that to in a city will find it hard to digest the concept of joint family. As ladies in joint family has their own formulas of cooking , baking , cleaning. While this girl will feel why to spend the entire day in kitchen when you also have a right to live for yourself. Thus the opinions differ and clashes appear. No one is right or wrong but its the thoughts which form a clash. If that girl had to stay together, she will stay, she won’t step back with her responsibilities but rather she will find ways in which everyone is happy and sound. If a mother-in law is from a village and is constantly nagging daughter in law as to how to do things she will welcome it initially but every time coming on the same page is difficult so at that time it is better to get a feasible solution which will spread happiness and not rather staying in one home and avoiding each other. I have seen many families who stay together just to portray their stature but deep inside avoid each other. Though there are multiple rooms but no room for happiness.

In the earlier time, the women were focused only towards working in the kitchen and they did it without any complaints. But today when they are exposed to many opportunities it becomes difficult to focus only on the kitchen. When there are many family member some want to eat pav bhaji, while some want to eat simple food. You can manage it for one day but not every day it is possible to satisfy everyone’s desires. In the old time a feeling of compromise used to prevail a lot but today it is with time or atmosphere no one can compromise every day. Compromising every day is not a great solution because everyone has their own desires and expectation.

The most important is everyone has the right to be happy and make everyone happy. Happiness should never be a choice which is ignored in the name of rituals and traditions. Whatever may be the system of the family, respect and love should bind them , everyone should get space to breathe.

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